Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Thin Feels

Video

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 08:24:07 +0100

And so...it continues...

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 12:24:46 +0100

I went to the nurse last Thursday, and frankly, she was a bitch to me. She did nothing but slate me and tell me how high and almighty WeightWatchers is…bear in mind that this nurse is a thin as a rake and STILL goes to the aforementioned all high and almighty! She weighed me, and I discovered that my efforts have not gone unmarked and that I had in fact, at that time, lost over 21 pounds since I weighed myself 2 months previously! [Yes I did nearly die at that point!]

Anyway, rant over, this week, I have been fairly bad I guess, in terms of eating healthily as much as I would have liked but I have continued doing the exercise. Instead of simply writing the food I have eaten down in my food diary [and in the case of this week not putting EVERYTHING down, only most things…*shines my halo*], I have also started writing down exercise/activity. This way, she can see what I’m doing as well as eating.

She weighed me again this week, and I had lost a further 4.3 pounds! Which means that since I first weighed myself, I have lost a total of 24.8 pounds!

ARGH!

Now all I have to do, is keep going!

I CAN DO THIS!

And so it begins...

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 18:14:57 +0100

The doctors on Tuesday was…interesting…she didn’t even weight me…but she has referred me for a blood test to check my thyroid [again] among other things…and that is Thursday coming [not today]. I also have to go and see the nurse, probably every other week to manage my weight etc…and as suspected, I have to keep a food diary…what better way to do that than to post photos of the pages here for you lot to keep an eye on me…

Sorry it’s taken so long to post an update on Tuesday’s appointment but I have just been trying to get my head around it as well as a lot of other things that are going on at the moment.

So…here goes…

[I’ll post the pics later]

So...tomorrow is the big day...

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 23:20:13 +0100

Tomorrow…it’s here…tomorrow is the day I go to see my doctor about my weight and depression problems, it’s been a long time coming [a very long time!] but it’s finally here…

Am I worried? Scared? Honestly? I’m shitting bricks about it…

So…this really is it…the new beginning has begun…yesterday was the first day I...

Tue, 24 May 2011 14:25:53 +0100

So…this really is it…the new beginning has begun…yesterday was the first day I did everything that I said I would, I ate more healthy food in smaller portions, drank more water and squash and I did my 50 sit ups and 20 leg pulls on each leg…

This morning I have phoned the doctor and gotten myself an appointment to go and see her and speak to her about my problems and so hopefully, I’m headed down the right path now. We shall see.

Video

Sun, 22 May 2011 14:21:32 +0100

Today is the day

Sun, 22 May 2011 14:19:00 +0100

So, today is the day where my head has finally kicked in. After doing some work with young mums and their kids, a documentary series that has been running on BBC3 caught my attention on iplayer. The “Misbehaving Mum’s To Be” series on pregnant women, not all of whom are young, who “misbehave” during their pregnancies to the extent that it threatens the life of their unborn children, has really hit a nerve. A lot of the women featured are heavy smokers who have continued smoking up to and sometimes more than 20 cigarettes a day during their pregnancy, but some are overweight or even underweight.

I know that what I heard in the 2 episodes that I have seen so far, is nothing new to me, but it has really inspired me to get my arse properly in gear and do something about my weight properly. Sure i’ve been eating smaller, more healthy portions of food, not been having seconds and cutting right down on the junk and sweets side of things, but I have still been “treating” myself every now and then. Oh, just so you know, i’m most definitely NOT pregnant! [Just thought i’d get that out there]

I know I have been losing weight slowly, and have lost a small amount, but it isn’t enough for me. I know the risks of being overweight, increased risk of diabetes, heart conditions, high blood pressure etc etc, and to be honest, this documentary has done nothing but scare the hell out of me. The girls who were “overweight” in this documentary were only weighing in at about 16 stone…I weigh in at somewhere between 18 and 19…yea…so i’m not pregnant, but even so, that can’t be good right?

Combined with the hideous results I had from a photo shoot with some friends about 2 weeks ago, in which I just looked like a pink blob, needless to say I am just a lil depressed right now.

I’ve always been a big girl, and despite doing what I said I would do when I first started out this blog, and having a few slip ups, I still don’t feel like I have really gotten anywhere. I mean, sure my jeans and trousers are looser, but that’s about it. I most certainly really do no feel any better about myself at all. So, I am acting on it. I’m going to do this and I’m going to do it properly this time. I’m phoning the doctor tomorrow to get an appointment to see her, I’m eating dinner of smaller plates, even if i feel hungry after, i’m snacking on fruit and veg only and i’m clearing my room properly so that I can do some proper exercise.

I will learn to love myself for who I am and what I look like, and I will NOT get shot down again.

Video

Thu, 12 May 2011 23:25:33 +0100

Video

Thu, 12 May 2011 12:32:55 +0100

Video

Thu, 12 May 2011 12:29:20 +0100

This is what I feel like right now. I have had a fairly long and...

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 02:50:33 +0100

This is what I feel like right now. I have had a fairly long and unhealthy day in terms of balancing and things, getting called in to work at 9:45 when you don’t wake up til 9:45 is not the best start to your day.

I went through the day eating a small bit of left over pasta from one of my colleagues, and a banana for lunch and breakfast combined, before finally getting home at around half past 4.

Knowing my imsomniaic [? i probably made that word up but you know what I mean and I know you do] tendancies, I forced myself to stay awake until at least after dinner, that way hoping that I would get a fairly decent nights sleep after my somewhat stressful day. How wrong was I?

I kept myself busy buy helping my sister, checking on the chilli plants I’m attempting to grow, and helping to make the pasta sauce for dinner [funny thing is it turns out all 4 of my family use the same “secret ingredient” in our pasta sauce as each other and none of us knew it until today!] and then finally caving and lieing on my bed for a few minutes before it was time to eat.

Hesitantly I got up and went and ate a small portion of it before almost instantly heading back up the stairs and in to bed to compute myself to sleep, convinced that I would be asleep by 10, as is often the case after a hard day at work. Again…oh how wrong was I?!

So here I am, rambling away on my tumblr to try and help almost hypnotise myself into a sleep I guess, it’s not working very well to be fair…oh well…

On another note, I’ve decided that I’m going to try and weigh myself every other week and keep a record of it properly, I’m not going to buy any more food [I am slowly getting better at that one, I promise] and I am definitely going to carry on doing my 50 sit ups a day, I might even increase it, we shall see.

Anywho, back to the insomnia, googling insomnia and looking at images is amazing, there are just so many different perspectives on it! Here are a few of my favourites, [one at the top included of course]…

I saw this on a friends tumblr a few days back and it set me...

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 17:18:00 +0100

I saw this on a friends tumblr a few days back and it set me thinking, I really love everything about this. And this is why I have reblogged it today :)

Original Post:

fyrephin:

I LOVE you. (www.postsecret.com)

So...it's been a while...

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 00:34:12 +0100

Ok so…it’s been a fair while since I last posted, but things have just been so hectic! I’m working two part time jobs, and have just found out I got my place to start at uni in september :D *SO EXCITED*

So, the weightloss is still going on, or at least being attempted, I still haven’t weighed myself again, but I am getting there in inches at least, well the looser clothes suggest I am anyway!

Anywho, I’ve just embarked on a new deal with a very close friend of mine. We are aiming to do 25 situps in the morning, and 25 at night, to walk to more places, rather than get the bus etc, to eat smaller, more healthy portions and to drink more water or squash [at least 4 tumbler glasses a day]. Hopefully this will help more weight disappear.

In other news, my friend and I found a bridesmaid dress for me and it was ordered a few months back, shouldn’t be too long now. I bought my proper shoes for the day yesterday in the sale at Evans, and she has said that she wants to find the 4 of us [her and 3 bridesmaids] some kind of flat shoe so we dont get too uncomfy throughout the entire day too…good plan me thinks!

That’s about it, now i’m gonna go collapse into bed, today has been a very VERY long day.

Love and huggles

So…the days are falling fast…wedding shopping yesterday was a lovely day, even though it...

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 12:30:00 +0000

So…the days are falling fast…wedding shopping yesterday was a lovely day, even though it was knackering and we didn’t buy anything! I’m completely unsure of what to do about a dress for me now though, help may and probably will be needed in the future folks!

I really should weigh myself again, but I just can’t get up the courage. Maybe I’ll do it on Wednesday morning before I leave for Nottingham. I’ll see how I feel. Everyone keeps telling me I look like I’ve lost weight but I’m not sure. I mean, yea, some of my clothes are a little looser but that doesn’t mean I haven necessarily lost weight does it? ~sighs~

Honestly, seeing my friend looking so happy yesterday while we were out really didn’t do that much for my confidence, I don’t know why, because it was so lovely to see her as happy as she was. Maybe it was the dress I tried on, I dunno, it just didn’t feel right to me…oh well…i’m sure i’ll find something somewhere…at least I hope.

So yea…that’s about it I guess…

My love is like a cabbage, Divided into two,The leaves I give to others,The heart I give to you. X

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 15:39:22 +0000

My love is like a cabbage, Divided into two,The leaves I give to others,The heart I give to you. X

Dirty minds eh? :p

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 19:48:34 +0000

Dirty minds eh? :p

Board game anyone? =p

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 19:46:40 +0000

Board game anyone? =p

Gotta love the mirrors in hamleys :D

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 19:44:08 +0000

Gotta love the mirrors in hamleys :D

Ok so…today is the day I get to see them again…it’s been a month but I’m...

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 09:13:31 +0000

Ok so…today is the day I get to see them again…it’s been a month but I’m nervous all over again…maybe it’s more the excitement and the anxiety that all travel plans are going to work out how they should…we shall see…

On another note, somewhat more related to the title of this blog, I appear to be losing weight…I weighed myself when I started this blog and haven’t since. Maybe I should do that sometime soon. I guess I just find it hard to do it…it’s a case of the fact that I know I’m big and fat…why should I have to put a number to that. That’s the thing that scares me most I think. That knowing just exactly HOW fat I am. Oh well. It has to be done sooner or later I spose. Maybe I’ll get the balls to do it next week some time. You never know.

I want to leave you with a quote I found on a promo flyer at work. It just spoke to me so I figured I’d share it.

“Play is a serious business; life is a lesson learned through play.”

In The Beginning

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 00:03:00 +0000

So…today [23/01/2010] is the beginning of this, my, what I am sure will become, somewhat “epic” journey into the world of weight loss and dieting, in the hope that I will be able to drop at a minimum, 3 sizes before August 13th, the date of my best friend’s wedding.

I spent the day dress shopping with my best friend and her sister and fiancé for her wedding in August of this year, we figured we’d start now then it’s out of the way, there is the possibility for the sales, and if the dresses we like disappear, at least we have them.

So, we got the dress for her sister sorted, which is also going to be the dress for the other bridesmaid [here], and then we started looking at a few for me as chief bridesmaid because i am wearing something slightly different [putting it bluntly I need straps because of my stupidly massive boobs and the fact I can’t get away without wearing a bra and a tight corset in august for an entire day is NOT gonna happen, also I’m a lot larger than the other 2 bridesmaids]

We found an amazing dress that looks stunning [here] even if it does only go up to 2 sizes smaller than me, and another two to have a look at as fall back options just in case but I didn’t try any on because there weren’t any in my size and after the crap morning I had travelling I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to try anything on.

So…anyway…the day ends and I finally get home…and show mum the dress we have picked out as number 1 for me…and she loves it…so I decide I might as well show dad. He comes in from the garage, where he is practically living at the moment, and so to make the blow easier for him [it’s reasonably expensive], I start the conversation…

Me: I need to lose some weight… ~with the intention of him going, oh why, and then me telling him about the dress~

Only he turns around and goes…

Dad: Ooooohhhhh finally you realise it, it’s only taken us 3 years to get it through to you

I swear to god I almost hit him with the wok that was on the draining board in front of me! Is this an overreaction on my part? Or is it justified?

What he said has really hurt me. He knows I have always had issues with my size and that I have been trying to lose weight for years, since I moved home from boarding school which was…umm…September 2006…I even went to the dietician at the hospital regularly for a year…and since then I have gone up and down fairly steadily, but recently have lost a bit again after being quite ill…

So…I have decided that I am going to do this…I AM going to lose this weight…I AM going to lose enough weight and keep it off…I AM going to drop a minimum of 3 sizes before the wedding in August and most of all I AM going to fit in that dress and be happy with the way I look in myself!

To do this…I am going to be tough on myself…and I have got the most amazing people behind me. As a general rule, I am going to be more healthy about what I do and what I eat…but I guess that’s a given.

I have been thinking about doing this for a while, but the comments from my Dad today have given me the kick I need…and as such I have come up with a few “regulations”. I have decided that:

I am going to aim to increase the amount of exercise that I do to at least 30 minutes a day, realistically I am aiming for between 45 and 60 minutes a fay but I figured 30 was a good base to start at.
I am going to stop snacking unhealthily as best as I can, and if I do feel the need to snack then I will be snacking on fruit, veg, a cereal bar or a yoghurt.
I am going to reduce the portion size of my main meals throughout the day.

Finally, I am intelligent enough to realise that it is not going to be possible to completely change the way I eat and stuff immediately and for that reason, I am going to allow myself 5 “sins” a week. Each sin accounts to a small portion of food or drink high in fat content…for example, a large glass of wine instead of a small one, or a small pack of sweets etc.

I also believe that it is important to, alongside an overall goal [in this case to drop a substantial amount of weight] to have smaller goals, and as such, I will be purchasing a set of scales and aiming to lose between 5 and 6 pounds every fortnight. From my previous experience with those in the medical profession, a healthy rate of weight loss is around 2.5-3 pounds a week and therefore I believe that an average of 5-6 pounds is a healthy goal to aim for.

So, that is my plan, and quite possibly the longest blog post ever written to man kind but I do not care. I am doing this for myself. I want to be happy, and God only knows that I need to be happy with who I am and what I look like. To all those who I know are behind me and supporting me with this, I want to thank you in advance now, and wish you good luck in putting up with my strops and down times. And to you, my fat arse of a body, good riddance!

BRING IT ON!